i actually want to just ride along with what happens. some things in my life aren't what i hoped for but along the way i have learned to accept it. or at least pretend i had accepted it. like how the Protagonist gets beaten in the middle of the movie, and in the end things unfold to be to the Protagonist's advantage. but then of course i understand Real Life isn't like the films i watch most of the time however i accept things in the hope that something brilliant will unfold along the way. i have known myself to be very impulsive and impatient, so while i wait i keep myself busy with dreams. i don't want to expect. i have expected and failed horribly. at this point my dreams had cleared off a bit and i couldn't breathe. i am now faced with "nothingness". if i don't keep dreaming i will die.