| Prologue |
written August 4th, 2008 approx. 3PM
most of the time i just don't understand myself. i'm bored with my life. i feel like i'm not enjoying what i do. maybe because i haven't really been honest with myself.
ever since high school, all i wanted to do was to write & be in a band. i've never taken college seriously. i thought i'd take a very fascinating course but i knew i didn't want to end up practicing it. i thought there's no proper school for people who'd like to make music and i thought, i can write without proper educational background. i mean, i thought i could write and that was enough. i also wanted to stay out from the trappings of my parents, which i gladly did, by the way.
i guess what i'm really trying to say is ---- i'm lost. i've been trying to evaluate why i feel so lonely. why i bailed out on my friends and family.
i have this weird fascination of the rock n' roll lifestyle. now it's seems it'll never happen. i'm a very boring person and the lifestyle i dream myself to be in is too far fetch. and why do i even aspire it? when most people my age aspire for job promotions and starting a family? i weird myself out.
maybe today i'll focus on the writing part. i'm not great but i know i ain't so bad either. if i compare myself to a third-grader, that is :p
all i wanted to do within the last 30 minutes was sleep. at one point i felt like crying. come payday i'm going to buy myself a nice acoustic guitar. |
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Name: the chain-smoking loser
Home: cainta, rizal, Philippines
Moi!: i'm uhhh.. chain smoking loser
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background by tayler
TackODing font
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