the secret diary of a chain-smoking loser

i've got lots of things to do, and too lazy to do it!

2008-11-28T10:35:00.003+08:00

i feel a little relieved today. tax din't cause much headache. :p

anyway, i've got lots of things to do, and too lazy to do it! bloggiong has even become a chore these days. i guess i have to set goals and timeframes. get organized. and oh, i have to loose the flabby fat belly. it's really annoying. now i know how fat people feel when they're being looked down on. okay, so here are my goals:

~~exercise~~, uh, naaah, let me be more specific: Jog! it's fun and easy I guess.
clean the bathroom. oh dear i should!
re-arrange the furnitures, buy boxes to organize receipts, bills, all other unneccessary stuff i want to keep.
finish reading the Einstein book so I could move on to other books. demmit.
get an organizer to organize my schedule and STICK TO IT!

well, that's all for now. i'm gonna watch Twilight today. i'm just gonna leave all those errands and things-to-do behind for a few hours.

NOTE: I missed to watch the NU107 Rock Awards 2008 but i'd like to say CONGRATULATIONS to PUPIL for the Big Win =)

NOTE NOTE: Sepultura on Saturday, anyone wanna go?

Christmas List

2008-11-23T03:46:00.007+08:00

i know i'm not a kid anymore, but if Santa really is still alive, these are what i want for Christmas:

1. Sennheiser HD595 Headphone for my PC. i feel guilty turning up my music every time i'm home, at day or at night on weekends

2. I-pod Earplug. mine got ran-over by a taxi, it's still working but it's impossible to stuck it on my ear without making the skin bleed.

3. Time to read a book. seriously i can't find the time.

4. new Credit Card for Christmas shopping. my mom would love this!

5. Organizer boxes. i REALLY need some of those.

6. Starbucks coffee mug. because my DELL coffee mug is wearing out from too much coffee, overuse, abuse.

7. Nike running shoes. i would have liked the Air Force ones, but it's too expensive, and I really need a pair of running shoes to get me to start jogging - seriously!

8. last but not the least, a new Mother Board. If i need to get my system to run CS3, or get it compatible for USB 2.0 format media connectors, I definitely need this!

That list are actually my needs. Those aren't just wishes i draw out of nowhere. I'm terribly out of cash so I REALLY hope Santa has internet connection down at the North Pole.

the lunatic

2008-11-19T11:09:00.001+08:00

oh pak.. i'm getting depressed. should i go home on the holidays? or not? my pocket says, Nooooo!!! my mind says Yeeessss!! and my heart says: nada.

the world is against me today

2008-11-19T09:06:00.004+08:00

okay, so after 10 years my landlady decided to fix the comfort room's ceiling. and what a day to fix it but today! huurraaay! this is my lucky day! never mind if i haven't slept yet, right? never mind if i desperately need to use it every 5 minutes today, right? i'm pissed. so i'm going to calm down. get myself a glass of milk and have a smoke.

next scenario:

PLURK

(mynamehere) is gonna watch Mama Mia! while thinking of the the next album to blog about... hrm.... lotsa' choicess

jaiskizzy says for me to poop on!

what the fuck is your problem?! poop on your face if you got nothing better to do, asshole!

work sucked today. like, i don't know, we were given a week-long vacation this December and I don't seem to see the reason other than "maybe" the LOB is dissolving in a few months time. the fact that I didn't get to be upscaled in terms of grade-level is already disappointing. my future in the company is really bleak now and i wish to reconsider my options.

while i still believe in myself.

the nth time

2008-11-16T22:29:00.002+08:00

i've changed my blog template for the nth time! the world wide web lacks the creativity that would tickle my fancy. or maybe the most creative designs isn't for free. or maybe, they're still in my head.. BAH?!

FWDD: 30 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life

2008-11-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

Do you want to live a happy life? If you say yes like most people do, then it’s important to learn to enjoy life. Some people may think that they can only enjoy life when they already have a lot of money or have a successful career. But that’s not true. You can enjoy your life where you are with what you already have. You can enjoy your life now.
Here I will share with you 30 ways to enjoy life. But before that, I’d like to share two tips that are essential to live a happy life. The first one is to be grateful. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is. No matter how many pleasant things you do, if you don’t learn to be grateful you will always see things negatively.
The second one is to slow down. Life has a lot of simple things you can enjoy. But if you move too fast you will overlook most of them. So don’t be in a hurry. Don’t move too quick. Slow down and pay attention to the world around you. Most of the ways I’m about to share will work well only if you slow down.
With those two tips in mind, here are 30 ways to enjoy life. Pick the ones that work for you:

~~Enjoy your meal. Don’t just eat. Taste it and appreciate its richness.~~
Learn to cook.
~~Feel music and not just listen to it.~~
~~Play music. More than just listening, playing music allows you to express yourself.~~
~~Sing.~~
Gather with old friends.
Take a walk in the park.
~~Go hiking.~~
Read a novel.
~~Find and watch a movie you like. IMDB’s recommendation engine can help you find movies you may like.~~
Give yourself a lazy day.
Play board games with your friends.
Have a candle-light dinner with your spouse.
Play mini games.
Read comics.
See beautiful pictures.
Read inspiring quotes.
Learn to paint.
Read a classic book.
Exercise with friends.
Watch funny videos.
Play with kids.
Play a mind game.
Have a cup of coffee.
Get a massage.
Go to a museum.
Go to a theater.
Watch sunrise.
Take pictures.
Browse your photo album for your treasured memories.

I’m sure there are still a lot of other ways to enjoy life. What is your favorite way to enjoy life?

By Donald Latumahina

better late than pregnant

2008-11-11T07:44:00.000+08:00

i thrashed my flat last night. i woke up 9pm which is exactly my Log In time at work. it was a literal rush hour for me. not that it's traffic but i'm madly rushing to work. i don't think i even combed my hair. i just tucked it and i was off! good thing a taxi got lost in the neighborhood, it saved me a li'l bit of time. oh god, i haven't been late that way since my Pasay days!

anyway, as the saying goes: better late than pregnant

=p

change

2008-11-09T12:20:00.000+08:00

Whether we like it or not - Change is gonna' come. we get older by the minute, you might not realize it but tomorrow you'll be turning 40. The news today will become old news tomorrow. If you're feeling down and low today, tomorrow might be bright and sunny for you. Today's fashion is going to be an old fashion soon. Things change, our feelings change every time, our taste change.

So if you're feeling like the world is against you, i assure you it's not going to stay that way forever. My opinion on this is, let's just keep our lives exciting all the time. find true happiness within you. make do of what you have. i read something once that really fascinated me, it goes like: "don't take life too seriously, no one gets out of it alive."

and i say, Just take pictures!

today i cleaned the electric fan

2008-11-09T11:45:00.000+08:00

that's right!!!

haha, okay so why am i blogging it? because it's a breakthrough. i don't really like cleaning my place. no, i don't really clean! haha! i'm such a lazy ass. but now that i have my own place and all, i feel the need to clean, lest i'd get sick.

and oh, i also installed an exhaust fan. the ventilation of my flat is very poor i'd be suffocated without the exhaust fan. it's my little life-saver.

i have already planned my travels for early next year. January I am going to Vigan and February I am going to my province - Cagayan de Oro. I am so excited, everytime I go to work I always try to apply for a Vacation Leave and I always get rejected because CCO haven't alotted credits for Leaves on those months yet.

anyhoo, I feel I should blog that our Team in the office won the Team Of The Month last September. It was awarded last week. Payday will be sweet next week. hehe. But then again, here comes my credit card bill! and here goes the TAX! =p

2008-11-04T11:29:00.000+08:00

below are a few snaps i took when i went to Batangas last Sunday, November 2nd. there was a bit of a tension, but i could only care less. i'm just glad i made a long bus ride alone, wearing my slippers, comfy board short and a shirt. i don't care what people think. i want to be in my most confortable get-up if i want to, whenever-wherever. and i'd listen to people i'd like to listen. i find no joy in being Not myself.

(photos on this site may not be reproduced without permission)

my pretty cuz'n "Donna"

my pretty niece "Janea"

my pretty niece "Aubrey"

today i cleaned the oven toaster

2008-11-04T10:20:00.000+08:00

that's right!!!

keeping my flat clean

2008-11-03T12:07:00.000+08:00

one of my major problem lately is how to clean my flat. i'm dead-lazy! i don't want to lift a finger anymore to tidy up things. dilemma, ugh! sometimes i think of hiring a nanny to clean it once a week. i have a lot of thoughts in mind of how to get things orderly but i don't want to lift a finger. or get my butt off this chair, for that matter. sheezh, and i wonder why i get so fat?

lately the movies i have watched have mentioned Simon & Garfunkel. maybe i should hear one of their albums. hmmm...

feeling better

2008-10-29T07:14:00.000+08:00

i've been getting a lot of encouragement lately. i totally appreciate it. according to a forwarded text message from Mitch :

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets... So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason... Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away... If you get a chance, take it.. If it changes your life, let it... Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

in short, i'm feeling better.

i had finally watched Trainspotting in full. I didn't sleep in between, I didn't miss a scene, I swear! (= i think it's great. life really is what you choose it to be.

anyWay, let me post a video i took when i was in Bacolod. this was at Eden's room, with her dog - Scarlett, the star! and Tintin - The Legs! haha enjoy...

Mis

2008-10-27T01:46:00.000+08:00

and i plan to not look back

2008-10-26T15:24:00.000+08:00

the smith's music fills my tiny studio-type apartment as i type this blog entry. i feel a little better than i did yesterday. God has his ways.

what was supposed to be a foodie-search last night turned out to be a beer-drinking spree! Redhorse mucho without ice! it tasted bad but what the hell, right? Gresh texted and said she's depressed and wants to drink. and so was I. so off we went to Mike's place. We jammed with the gay men. Sometimes i do appreciate gay men. When i got home, i had a chat with the friend whom I invited yesterday and he said he will not do It again. i felt a little disappointment but when I woke up I realized that this must be God's work. I don't know what lesson he is teaching me but I know in time I will realize that. I dreamed that my mom's room was about to catch fire. over-heated A/C. i had to wake myself up forcefully from that dream. It scares me to death.

right now all i plan to do is actively blog. i want to write. write and write and write. and write. i feel normal when i write. i get to straighten my head up. and i plan to not look back. i will never get hurt unless i let them.

crazy

2008-10-25T09:20:00.000+08:00

tears dried in my eyes before i was finally able to sleep yesterday. i have sulk to depression again. i was praying i'd just die. self-pity. "Emo" stuff. i couldn't shake it off for some reason. it was the first time i had touched reality after a very long time. i thought i could handle having the past close behind all at once. it turned out they all have moved on. and i haven't. or maybe i should say, they all are happy now some way or another and i'm not. they have found love, finally and i have not. i was never even close. so i invited an old friend over to my apartment today, because i felt like going crazy today. i realized i really need that human touch. i didn't exactly enjoy it, in fact i didn't open the door until after 15 minutes of him standing outside knocking the door calling my name. i am crazy, all right. it's depressing to know they don't take you seriously.

in the pit of falling to depression, i could die

2008-10-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

i actually want to just ride along with what happens. some things in my life aren't what i hoped for but along the way i have learned to accept it. or at least pretend i had accepted it. like how the Protagonist gets beaten in the middle of the movie, and in the end things unfold to be to the Protagonist's advantage. but then of course i understand Real Life isn't like the films i watch most of the time however i accept things in the hope that something brilliant will unfold along the way. i have known myself to be very impulsive and impatient, so while i wait i keep myself busy with dreams. i don't want to expect. i have expected and failed horribly. at this point my dreams had cleared off a bit and i couldn't breathe. i am now faced with "nothingness". if i don't keep dreaming i will die.

talk-shit ka!

2008-10-06T07:58:00.000+08:00

i think i still have a hang-over. my head is still buzzing in pain. thank god for coffee.

anyway,

we had our team building last night. team building, meaning it's a company-paid event without the company. ha ha! basically, me and my team-mates went out for fun in Red Box, in Makati. Videoke galore. it was fun but the most fun part was when a few of us went out right after for a beer-drinking spree. I guess I blame it on Red horse that's only 48 fucking pesos.

we talked about people at work, of course, who else would we talk about. hehe. we talked about our lives and stuff. we were such a trash. Me and Gresg and Mike I think was so fuckin' drunk we told everyone the things we only talk about by ourselves. Ha Ha!

some weird things happened and i've already told Jai about it, which was some sort of relief so i dind't have to blog about it. anyone can make their way on this blog, it's not safe. =p

i think i'm still drunk, i'm talking shit.

home

2008-10-04T22:09:00.000+08:00

i just read a blog about Home. A place where you are happy.

Movie flashback in my head: Almost Famous

Scene: on a bus, after Russell was picked up from a party

William: Penny! I want to go home...

Penny Lane: You are home.

(=

apartment pros & cons

2008-09-28T06:39:00.000+08:00

i have been flipping through Apartments For Lease at work. i need a new place. i don't hate y place. it's great but i want somewhere cheaper.

but now i'm kind of re-thinking it because i am starting to realize that this place is also worth it for the amount that i pay. in the morning you can actually hear the birds chirp. you can turn your music off and just listen to Nature mann.. it's away from traffic, you can walk around the village without worrying about your safety. it's walking distance from the mall. and best of all, the neighbors mind their own business. security also is great. it has a gate that's always locked. each tenant has their own key.

my friend Angel texted me yesterday, becayse they were looking for a place. Apparently her roommate's car was broken into or something. i didn't get the full details but, that's basically it. security should always come first when getting a place.

the downside here which made consider moving:

it's Hell if you don't have an electric fan. there's no space to install an A/C. and the street gets flooded during heavy rains. and it's expensive for someone living by herself.

sheesh! it's really hard to decide.

Revolver Anniv @ Saguijo

2008-09-25T14:28:00.000+08:00

had fun last night. or uhm, a few hours ago?

it's my Off so Off i went, to Saguijo! yay! it rained cats and dogs but I was already in Makati by then. I stayed in McDo for an hour waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn't so... what the fuck, right? i stormed into the rain and got myself into a decent taxi cab who miraculously did not overcharge me on a two-block ride.

Anyhoo, the line up at Saguijo was great:

- Gorgoro (funny rockin' set)
- Nyctinasty ( boo Paramore! haha)
- Itchyworms
- Pedicab
- Imago
- Sandwich
- Chicosci
- Fastpitch

I was happy for three things:

1) it's my off. yey!
2) i got a new lens! prime lens, baby! i get to test it out
3) i met up with Doc Nikki

when I entered Saguijo, Gorogoro was playing, Jing was on bass and what-the-fuck their vocalist is a puppet! they are probably the coolest band i've known so far. Hydraulics down! Hydraulics down! It was so cool. It was so funny. The music was tight! I have to watch them again soon!!!

at the time Nyctinasty played, i guess i was already outside waiting for Nikki. She came just in time for Itchyworms. And I should really go buy their 3rd album: Self-titled! Jaz I think made up a song that was so funny. Then Pedicab played, there were tons of heads and dicks in the room. It was full! It was hot! but like as Diego sings it: Dito Tayo Sa Dilim/Kapit Sa Patalim/Punyeta Ang Init Dito/ Nakakapaso! Papaparararaparapapa (something like that) haha! They didn't play my all-time-favorite song but they played FX so i guess i'm Okay with that.

Imago followed suit, but our view were blocked by giant men so we couldn't see even a shadow of Aia. They played tracks from Take 2, it was a treat.

Sandwich was as usual, full-throttle! Diego was musing about Beda winning at NCAA. and was makign fun of LaSalle and Mong happened to be in Green shirt.. he he he.. Nikki thought Diego was drunk, I told her, I don't think so. I think he wakes up everyday talking just like that! he he he i don't really know him personally, so I wouldn't know. I only laugh at his jokes at shows. it never fails to perk me up. and oh, Raimund was licking Myrene all over! he he he sweeeeeeeet.

after Sandwich, I think we head to the Food & Beverage Section? I knew it'd be a riot with ChicoSci so i'd rather eat my heart out. haha. nah.. i just caught up with with Nikki. It's been a while since we last went to a gig together .. I think that was NU107 rock awards last year. We never fail to attend that event. =D (unless stupid things happens like loosing all your money while on your way to World Trade? haha i couldn't forget that)

When i got home, the street where I live was flooded. the taxi was too scared to dip his precious taxi into the brown flood so i took off my shoes, rolled up my jeans and walked in the flood! gross, yeah, but if i'm a little tipsy, nothing is gross! he he he he

(here are the shots i took with Nikon D40 + 50mm f/1.8 - god i'm so happy with this lens!!! gotta shoot again!)

more photos at http://deathbybiopsy.multiply.com

love is a whore

2008-09-22T17:03:00.001+08:00

a friend of mine was asking me for some love advise and all i could reply to her messages were "LULz" or "gagu!" i could not come up with any better words to say. the thing is that i haven't felt the way she was feeling in a very long time so i kind of forgotten how it feels. and besides, her story is very complicated, it goes way beyond my moral values, it defies what i learned at home and in school. i am against it if i look at it in a moral context but it's love - who am i to go against it, right? it's crazy. so my conclusion basically is that, love is one big big whore. it hurts people as much as it makes one happy.

sometimes i get really confuse because maybe my understanding is just not broad enough? maybe i'm too shallow? and i hate to think i'm one of the two so i try to undertand it as much as possible. i threw away idealism. i've seen this happen many times and i still couldn't swallow it wholly. in fact i'd been a victim once. i still don't understand why people would easily fall for someone else while they're in a relationship. i guess they're bored. it's funny how big the numbers are of bored people. especially in the call center business.

love disguises sex, sex disguises love.

lazy bones! moonlight and clear night sky

2008-09-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

i am so fucking lazy!

didn't get out of the house for the whole rest days! i spent it all in front of the PC, stalking people! and then some.. and i thought, i'd like to go to beach where I can be beneath the moon in a clear clear sky. but unfortunately, this isn't CDO so, I decided to climb up to the 3rd floor. I tagged my camera along. It's 11 PM in the evening and it's stalking time! i stalked the neighbors, the passers-by, i stalked myself (lol) whatever! The moon was bright and I haven't showered in 2 days (yuk!) haha! but it feels good to be just right down where the moon and the sky can see you and vice versa. Where were you at this time?

(=

now i'm finally getting a shower.. :p

Cow Eating Grass

2008-09-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

I learned today that my Basic Photography teacher (ahem!) Jo Avila does lomography. he's got a Horizon Perfekt! my dream toy cam. *Drool*

i learned a lot of things today. one of the most interesting one is the story behind Sir Jo Avila's "Cow Eating Grass" phrase. Ever since I read it from his website I've always been pondering on what that means. Now I know and now I'm happy.

i learned a lot more interesting stuff, of course. sometimes actually, you already know it, it's just different when you hear it from someone whose experience at the subject spans a little more than 15 years or so. there's always this profound wisdom that comes along their teaching.

anyway, i haven't slept for 28 hours now, and i am still obliged to spend 8 more hours here at work.

i can do this.

what's new?

2008-09-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

talk about those days when you completely have no idea what to do!

you want to do something but you just can't get your butt off the chair. and then after a few minutes you completely forget about doing it while you do things that aren't even worth the while. most of the time for me, they happen on Rest Days. Uh, what's new?

ANYWAY...

i did have a lot of plan but Mr. Rain got in the way. I couldn't get out of the house. bed was luring me in. oh sweet sweet dreams, i imagined.

later, Mitch and the rest of the guys are going to crash my apartment for a little beer-drinking fest. it's Mitch's birthday and i volunteered that we drink here because... because... because... i don't know! ha ha i love it when i have people come by my apartment, i guess.

there's nothing much to do here because i don't have a TV but i got lotsa' downloaded movies in my PC. so Big thanks to torrent.

i also bought a strawberry cheesecake for Mitch, so let's hope she don't read this blog tonight because it's supposed to be a surprise. oh, we love strawberries!

a vague untold story

2008-09-08T06:17:00.000+08:00

there's this person i came to know way back 2001, i guess. i had this major crush on him. he is an artist. he paints. i don't remember much of the details of our story back then. somehow i got amnesia. the only memories i could remember was how i hoped and longed for his love but it was not reciprocated. maybe in my point of view at the time. a few years later, new year, we finally hit it off and it was bliss without making it official. a month after i felt the self-loathing once again and decided push him out of my life. i looked for what i wanted in someone else and i did found what i wanted in someone else. this person kept in contact once in a while electronically. until this someone else had left me and people came and went, this person is still there to keep in touch. this year, he decided to tell me things i would have loved to hear years ago. i reciprocate accordingly. i don't want to be rude. but had he told me those tiny sweet little lines years ago, things would have been different.

why am i blogging this? i don't really know. maybe i don't think you would really understand the story. and because i just want to get it out of my chest. and perhaps immortalize it?

he might have been my greatest love. he might have been the person that crosses my mind when I hear a sappy love song. he might have been my soul mate. anyway, the future is still wide open for many possibilities. time has its ways to heal the past. and there are plenty to learn, create and dream about in the present.

love is a tricky business.

lomo-ing

2008-09-08T03:37:00.000+08:00

This is the very first shot i got from my Diana+. The only decent shot out if 12 shots. Before I thought it was so aweful. But today i kind of look at it differently. See those smudge-like lines at the bottom of the picture? that's a classic. haha. And who in the world could capture a kid doing that using an age-old photography technology?

I better start shooting again.

The story is that, it had costed me more money with very minimal returns, so I decided to stop the old-technology madness. This photo had given me the inspiration and drive I need to keep on lomo-ing. Lomo-ing! lulz

Jessica Soho reports about the Eraserheads Reunion Concert

2008-09-07T07:44:00.000+08:00

Jessica Soho reports about the Eraserheads Reunion Concert

This page requires a higher version browser
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

do not disturb: busy sleeping

2008-09-04T07:56:00.000+08:00

i don't get bored when i'm alone at my apartment. in fact, i always look forward to going home when i'm slaving at the office. my family are angry at me for now visiting them. i tell them i'm busy. yes, i'm busy at home. sleeping. =p

of course i'm thankful for this age old pc, it's been my best friend ever since. right now i am listening to Mozart in my robe. the apartment is a little messy i'll tidy it up later. i bought a pair of sleeping wardrobe because i like sleeping. also another towel because i like to take a shower, i bought pillow covers, because the old ones smelt bad it disrupts my sleep. i washed what needs washing except for the electric fan because i hate cleaning metals. my space is too small for it. i watched Amelie once again! the lesson the movie brings is priceless. the art and colors in the movie are also astounding. I love the french language. I also emptied my piggy bank. i plan to deposit the money at the bank today. I saved 734.40 Php worth of coins! Next time i'm going to get a bigger piggy bank.

below are the pictures i took today.

the handle

coins coins coins

piggy with the coins

this is where i sleep

stupid pose haha

these are what keeps me going: yosi, kape, pc

the mess, bow

Listening to Mozart's Requiem in D Minor

2008-09-04T05:23:00.001+08:00

Einsten loved the music of Mozart. He also played the violin, like Mozart did.

I don't want to think it but i can't help but think it

2008-09-02T06:46:00.000+08:00

amidst all the happy stories and anticipated glee, it is sad that Ely Buendia had to take the toll. as reported, he underwent another Angioplasty operation yesterday morning.

after the Eraserheads Reunion concert was cut short last Saturday, because Ely had to be rushed to the hospital, the 3 other heads coincidentally met at Saguijo. It instigated an E'heads jam and Saguijo was reported to be a very happy place at that time. And Raims talked about a continuation of the Eraserheads Reunion. He said he was certain of that.

I don't want to think it but i can't help but think it. It's sad.

Let's all pray that Ely gets well soon and hope someone will always be there to watch out for him.

If you can recall Noel Garcia (I saw his name mostly in in-lay cards of E'heads' albums), he passed away around 2006 due to a heart attack, after undergoing an Angioplasty operation months before that. No one was able to rush him to the hospital at the time of the attack. Noel Garcia was in one of the stories in Pillbox. He was apparently the 5th Eraserhead.

I hope Ely won't get the same fate. Not this soon.

new found bliss

2008-09-01T02:16:00.000+08:00

my co-workers had been talking about the E'heads Reunion Concert and my mouth is zipped! somehow i have discovered that it feels so good to pretend you don't know anything.

I have always been straightforward and downright honest at what I know and don't know. That makes me really predictable. But today I decided to keep this Eraserheads concert I attended a secret, unless of course one of them find their way to this blog. i notice in times when I open my mouth almost instantly, the thrill goes away so quickly.

so yeah, my new found bliss: shutting my mouth.

Eraserheads: The Reunion - cont...

2008-08-31T09:29:00.001+08:00

***continuation****

okay let me start from the beginning.

Around 1pm I was already ready to go although the concert do not start until 8pm. One should anticipate the crowd. Ticketworld sold more than 2,000 tickets after only several hours of selling it, there's a really long line in Ticketworld outlets, even in National Bookstore. and they only had 2 days before the big event. That's how badly the fans wants to see them.

At around 2 pm, i met up with Nina in Ever Gotesco. It's been a while since I saw Nina. The last I think was the Pupil gig in Makati. Anyway, so we went to Market Market and met up with some other peeps. Ricah, Miki, Miki's friend, and Jai. At about 5 we made our way to the the concert area. Before we went inside though, I dropped by Artsbar and picked up the shirt I asked him to bring: Markus Highway exclusive t-shirt beybeh! and of course the official Reunion shirt, ha ha! which was featured in Inquirer yesterday, by the way.

We were in by around 5. The security was tight. One security guard was even hustling me with the lighter. He said lighters aren't alowed. He opened my bag and saw my Marlboro Lights, then he said: "may lighter ka e" i said "wala akong lighter!" then he repeated "may light ka!" and i went "wala ako'ng lighter!" that went on for like less than a minute but he didn't find my lighter inside my bag. that's what I call: tamang hinala! haha

Below is the lay-out of the area. which Markus graciously shared to us on-line so we wouldn't get lost.

We waited 3 hours for the band to play. just there, sitting, sharing E'heads trivias. Then my fellow Listers arrived! Thea, Dino, Julieus, Yem, Tops and more. It was like a mini-reunion, only Bernz was nowhere to be found. We were at the VIP section, around 8 meters away from the stage because before the VIP section there is an SVIP section which are the band's friends and family. It was effin' hot! the lady in front of me wouldn't budge to move one step forward so we could breathe at the back. But I finally got my best position. and stood there for an hour. Then it came...

It was superb! The lights were great! the screen right behind the band was so big and it featured pictures of the band in their E-heads days. then it wrote: SA WAKAS! people were wild as wild goats! screaming and all. The stage had an elevator, hehe! Each band member was lifted up on stage through this elevator thing. They started the set with Alapaap. Apparently it's Ely's favorite. They always play Alapaap first at most gigs before. And there I went, all teary-eyed. It was my first time to see them live. And it was so magical. Goosebumps! Goosebumps! I've waited so long to be in that place, to see them play live. I've waited 15 years or so.

Below is the line-up of songs they played:

alapaap
ligaya
sembreak
hey jay
harana
fruitcake
toyang
kama supra
kailan
huwag kang matakot
kaliwete
with a smile
shake yer head
huwag mo ng itanong
light years

If you read the news lately, Ely's mom died last Thursday of Heart Attack. Despite that, he still went on with the show. And he gave his best. He even joked a bit, after the song Alapaap he said: Thank you! Good night! and acted as if it was the end. It was evident he was dead tired. Roadies went on changing his guitars from one song to another and he was almost not moving from where he stood. Still, he went on and completed the first set. The last song was Lightyears and you can definitely see how sad ely's face was on that big big screen!

Doesn't really matter where you are
It always seem to be so far
'coz you're lightyears away
You're lightyears away from me

After the song, he sat and the roadie went to tap him on his shoulder, took the guitar, helped him stand and then he walked backstage. the timer on the screen was set to 20 Minutes but it stopped after a few seconds. we waited more than 30 minutes when Markus, Raimund, Buddy, Lyra (Ely's Sister), and the promoters went on stage and annouced that the concert has to be cut short due to Ely's poor health. Ely collapsed backstage. Then the promoter initiated a 1 minute silence to pray for Ely's speedy recovery. Then the crowd was advised to go to the nearest exits.

So me, Jai, Nina and Miki's friend head to Market Market to get something to drink. Aftera can of soda and 3 sticks of cigs we went our separate ways and headed home. I was with Nina at the taxi and I told her it was my first time to see the band play. She didn't know. I told her that I never thought the song Lightyears is about death. And we went on telling stories about the 'heads' good ole' days and hoped Ely was okay.

when I got home, i kicked my shoes off, put on my new Markus Highway shirt, and went on-line. one person posted the supposed List of songs for SET 2 he found backstage:

maskara
poorman's grave
torpedo
trip to jerusalem
back to me
maselang bahaghari
maling akala
tikman
spolarium
magasin
para sa masa
overdrive
pare ko
minsan
huling el bimbo

Then i uploaded the video I managed to shoot through my cellphone in Youtube and showed it to Gibs, who happened to be on-line at the moment. He argued that he hated how the 'heads sold out. That they have to pretend to be friends for 2.7 million. I told him about the blog I wrote previously, which I also posted in friendster, by the way, entitled 08 30 08. The point I was kind of making was that: If you think they don't think about Money, you are deeply mistaken. They're human too. They need it. But you can't judge them by that fact alone because they are creative and talented, and it's definitely not their fault if they get a chance to play for 2.7 Milliopn pesos! and they deserve it. they worked hard for it. they earned it. it wasn't easy.

Unfortunately, Gibs didn't bother to understand me and cut me off. He went on to his "i miss you, come back home" thing and "he didn't want to loose me over this Eraserheads" crap. But now I'm kind of rehearsing how to tell him what i've been wanting to tell him for the longest time: get outta' my life!

After that, I threw myself to the shower and hit the sack. It was about 1am, I think. I woke up at about half past 6 in the morning. Breakfast was the left over doughnuts from yesterday. I read the news and Ely is awake and is in stable condition now. He only had a mild attack due to stress. And it dawned on me: If it was the first and last time I would see the 'heads play live, I am already satisfied and I don't want to ask for more. Basically, that night fulfilled all my longings for the band I adored since I was in fifth grade. It was pretty amazing.

I wish you were there.

Eraserheads: The Reunion

2008-08-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

i just got home from the Eraserheads Reunion Concert. Unfortunately it was cut short becuase frontman Ely was rushed to the hospital after the song Lightyears.

The show was so Grand. God it was like a Michael Jackson concert indeed! Fireworks, laser beams! elevator stage...

below is the video i managed to shoot using my Nokia5310, despite the tears and all.. as it was my first timie to see them all four play as Eraserheads Live.

It was a riot indeed. Everyone was emotional and very jumpy too. It was VERY crowded. I tell you. I think tickets almost sold out in what, 2 days of sale? Shet! Lucky for us, Markus was so kind and generous to let us in the VIP.

fuck i need some sleep. will continue this later.

surreal

2008-08-27T16:52:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking about things in my life lately because something is about to happen that i think would validate why i'm here, slaving in the corporate world, living on my own.

some things i imagined when i was younger came true and some are coming true. a negligible work that pays the rent, taking photos, having my own apartment, snubbing boys, sunny & smart down to earth friends, going to gigs of band i adore, and lately an eraserheads reunion concert...

it's surreal but it's happening and i'm very thankful for it. and everyday i check my multiply, yahoogroups, emails and check up with my friends to make sure that this is happening. unfortunately, Professional cams aren't allowed inside which makes me focus on being there. being present at what would probably be one my life's highlights. i write better than i shoot, anyway (sometimes).

it's such a warm and fuzzy feeling and i never get to feel this all too often. so when i do, i like to make it linger a little longer.

08 30 08

2008-08-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

The recent days have been a mix of frustration, uncertainties and happiness for me when I think about E'heads reunion concert on August 30th, 2008. News sprung out off the world wide web that the the much-awaited reunion of the decade was canceled. it turned out Phillip Morris was not able to get away with the law against Cigarette Companies sponsoring big whatever Entertainment events. So I just read and read and Markus kept writing words of hope and all that. Then he said all will be revealed on Monday. And revealed it was, the first thing that greeted me Monday morning was a text message from Julius: "Raymund confirmed the reunion will push through on the 30th, ticket selling will be announced on Tuesday." so imagine the glee, mann.

I've been waiting for this day for ALMOST forever.

You can say I'm one of their biggest fan. I'm one of those who grew up listening to their music. I couldn't imagine who I could have become without the 'heads and although their break-up was bad, i've kind of anticipated and dreaded it. And i waited and waited for this to happen. Ely on every interview had always denied that This would be a possibility in a near future. But then again he also mentioned in one of the interviews at Pulse.ph that he makes music for money. So the best opportunity came, according to circulating rumors, they were paid at least more than 2 million each for this event. There were people who took it against the band to sell out like this, but personally speaking, i think they were a sell-out from the start. Otherwise, we couldn't possibly all be aware of their canny presence. They really made music to make money. It's hypocritical if they say they don't. But I am definitely thankful for the money and the fame that they got in return because right now I get to listen to more than a hundred songs that makes me happy. You can't also say they totally compromised their ability to make good music because they made Great music that we all loved, in the first place. They are so talented and creative and smart and I think their life as the Eraserheads is an example of hard work and hard play. Altogether, I don't think it's their fault that they can get paid 2 Mil each at least for a one-night-only concert.

They shaped a generation. They showed us that any kid at school can go out there and rock n' roll! and be famous! if you only work hard enough. They gave the youth the voice and hope we so craved 6-15 years ago. So let's give it back to them now. They truly deserve it.

Fort Bonifacio August 30th, 2008.
Check the newspaper today! Tuesday! for complete details.
be there! it's a date!

promotion

2008-08-25T06:04:00.000+08:00

my friends are getting a little desperate about getting Promoted. my teammates who's with DELL for a little less than a year is desperate of getting promoted. at huddles they bring it up. and sometimes they talk to me and ask about it. ask why I'm still an agent, taking in calls after what, a little less than 2 years now? and at first i thought maybe I'd get offended but after a few brain-freezing moments to answer those questions i told 'em I don't want to get promoted. I like my position. I'm so comfortable with it, y'know.

Once i attended a talk with Angel, a very good speaker who's with the Learning & Development team, he told us that before you attempt to apply for something, make sure that you are at least 200% more than qualified of the position. "magbanat ka muna ng buto" as he puts it in the native language.

right now it's not that i'm slacking or I don't have the ambition, mann I am a very ambitious person. I wouldn't travel from Cagayan de Oro to Manila if I were any less ambitious. It's only that I think I will have my own time. And besides, my ambition goes beyond the call center industry. it goes beyond what I can even imagine.

in mean time, i'm totally enjoying the ride. no need to hurry baby!

certified l-o-s-e-r

2008-08-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

you can tell that i'm a dead LOSER because I like to be at work on weekends than be at home.

it's just more fun here.

b&w photo-blog

2008-08-21T14:14:00.000+08:00

just thought of converting pictures to black and white today. so i scoured photos in my picture folders and also borrowed one from a friend who's more than willing to lend it to me for a li'l b&w practice. haha.

tools for the job: Nikon d40 + kit lens & CS2

note: you may also click on this link to visit my DeviantArt gallery.

baby jane - borrowed photo

mitch - this was in Tuguegarao, she'd repeatedly asked me to shoot a special photo for her special friend. i guess this one takes the cake out of all the shots we made. one fella commented "charming" in DevArt on this photo.

the anticipation - if you have the time please tell me what to do with this photo, i still feel there is something missing.

Markus - yay! shot last night at 70's bistro. my shots last night were uh.. not so good. i guess I didn't prepare enough. going to gigs like this has to be planned well. tsk! i loved markus' outfit though. maybe if i wasn't sleepy (and shy) enough i could have come up to him after the set and take a decent shot.

Jugs of Itchyworms - another photo taken last night at 70's bistro. at first i feel like cropping it, but uh.. changed my mind and blurred out Chino instead.

that's all. your constructive opinion will worth a million to me.

Einstein

2008-08-20T14:55:00.000+08:00

i am currently obsessing over the genius of Einstein. i bought this book (Einstein: His Life and Universe) last week and i just couldn't put it down. and i remembered i was absent at the time the law of relativity was explained to me in my Physics class in college (yeah, right) so i had to consult Wiki. so i found a video of a class in Yale which explained the Special relativity and General relativity. Prior to that the Professor also explained the Black Hole.

it's so entertaining. it brings out the curious kid in me. it makes me want to go back to college. it also makes me question why I'm here and not getting a job at the university in the first place. Science had always been a favorite of mine. i guess in time i will come to my senses and realize i'm just another Nerd.

just got back

2008-08-18T10:43:00.000+08:00

skin is burnt. but well-rested and well-fed, nonetheless.

Lazy

2008-08-13T08:06:00.000+08:00

One thing you should know about me is I'm a very lazy person. If there's one job i'd like to have, it would be becoming a thief for billionaires. Something like a day of work would make me the Billionaire. But then again, it takes talent and guts. I ain't got any of that.Or at least I haven't practiced any of that. i only practiced sleeping all day during rest days and taking calls during work days. Pretty boring, huh?

I know.

Moreover, I am pretty excited for a second round of my Tuguegarao escapade. Region
2, baby! I'll be going up north with my co-workers. Will just be loungin' in the beach or in my former manager's mansion with maybe some lemon juice? my favorite! Yeah, I'm lazy like that.

note: I added my Flickr account's photostream in this blog, just in case you want to check it out! I also tranferred the tag from my previous blog here & I changed the template! dang! I've been busy...

What would Jesus do?

2008-08-08T05:42:00.000+08:00

am i so bad? i gave Alvin (co-worker) a bit of a beating. he borrowed money from me and i told him i need it by today. but he said he can't and i said no can't do it's for my rent. i already told him i had my budget all planned out and i let him borrow it because i didn't need it until today which is for my nosy landlady a pay-your-rent day! i understand he has responsibilities, 3 kids : one in high school, an infant and another toddler but i thought we all have responsibilities and as of mine i have it all planned out. everything is on its place except for this. i demanded that he pay me the whole amount until i got tired of it. i'm no atm machine --- he has to know that. i have responsibilities much like all of us. that's why we are at work. that's why i couldn't pick up my parents at the airport later because i'll be working, it's my responsibility. it was his responsibility to provide for his family and live up to his words. it's not easy being the bred-winner of the family, i understand that clearly, but negligence is not an excuse. i can't be absent later or be late because i know it would be negligence to my job even if i know my parents would not like to stay with my relative for a night. it's because i gave my word to the company first. i said i wouldn't be absent so i won't be. i just hoped he would do the same thing to me. to honor his sworn words to pay me today.

i know i'm being harsh, but i'm just a "plan" person. if something doesn't go according to planned i get cranky. so in times like this i just ask myself: What would Jesus do?

vodka is a silent devil

2008-08-06T09:31:00.000+08:00

i remember downing a bottle of vodka cruiser last night before hitting the sack. and now here i am, cursing and bouncing here and there in an utter pain under my skull. the last time i felt pain like this was when Mitch and i challenged ourselves on a big bottle of white tequila. the pain was a monster in the head. unlike beer, you never really feel anything other than its distinct taste in your mouth when you wake up in the morning.

moral lesson? quit drinking alcohol!

yeah right.

Prologue

2008-08-05T10:45:00.000+08:00

written August 4th, 2008 approx. 3PM

most of the time i just don't understand myself. i'm bored with my life. i feel like i'm not enjoying what i do. maybe because i haven't really been honest with myself.

ever since high school, all i wanted to do was to write & be in a band. i've never taken college seriously. i thought i'd take a very fascinating course but i knew i didn't want to end up practicing it. i thought there's no proper school for people who'd like to make music and i thought, i can write without proper educational background. i mean, i thought i could write and that was enough. i also wanted to stay out from the trappings of my parents, which i gladly did, by the way.

i guess what i'm really trying to say is ---- i'm lost. i've been trying to evaluate why i feel so lonely. why i bailed out on my friends and family.

i have this weird fascination of the rock n' roll lifestyle. now it's seems it'll never happen. i'm a very boring person and the lifestyle i dream myself to be in is too far fetch. and why do i even aspire it? when most people my age aspire for job promotions and starting a family? i weird myself out.

maybe today i'll focus on the writing part. i'm not great but i know i ain't so bad either. if i compare myself to a third-grader, that is :p

all i wanted to do within the last 30 minutes was sleep. at one point i felt like crying. come payday i'm going to buy myself a nice acoustic guitar.